Dev Dreams, Volume One Read online

  Priyanka looked down at her shoes and said, “They were speaking about you.”

  “You can speak French?”

  “A little. I've been studying.”

  “You already speak Tamil, Hindi, Kanada and English and you're learning French too. I'm impressed, I can only speak English and bad Hindi. Why didn't you say you were fluent in so many languages?”

  Priyanka looked at him and he was gazing at her with such pride that she blushed. “Daksha Auntie didn't think it sounded right, I have the wrong kind of skills. I do cook, though, I like cooking.”

  “Yes, and you're very good at it. I like to cook too.”

  “You?”

  “I'll make you a lasagna tomorrow, you'll love it.”

  She smiled. She never thought she'd have so much fun with her husband, it almost made up for the lack of touch. Her skin sometimes seemed to ache from the desire to be touched and there were times she longed to just be held. She always pushed those thoughts aside.

  That night on the drive over to convention center where the event was happening, Deepak said, “Some of my colleagues are real pigs, just be prepared.”

  He was looking exceptionally handsome in a suit and tie and Priyanka herself had never felt more lovely, not even on their wedding day. There were many people in the hall, but it didn't feel crowded because it was such a huge space. Deepak found their table with place cards that said Dr. and Mrs. Rao. He rolled his eyes when he saw there was a chair at his place setting. “Every single time,” he muttered. Priyanka stayed at the table while he went to find someone to remove the chair. No one else from their table had arrived yet.

  When Deepak got back and the mix-up with the extra chair had been settled, they wandered around the room mingling. Deepak approached a couple of men standing near the bar area and Priyanka followed a little behind, distracted by staring at all the beautiful dresses. When she arrived, Deepak said to the men, “This is my wife, Priyanka. Priya, this is George and Eddie.”

  “You lucky dog, since when do you have a wife?” one said.

  “Got her from the old country where they can't say 'no', eh?” the other said, and both laughed heartily.

  Priyanka looked down at Deepak and he was staring at his knees. He seemed embarrassed. What the man said was mostly true. Priyanka herself hadn't had as much choice as most girls in these situations did, but there was always a choice. She could have sold her gold necklace and taken her chances.

  “I'm a woman, not a slave,” she said, “I can always say 'no.'”

  Deepak looked at her sharply, awe on his face and the trace of a smile.

  “Got a feisty one, did you? Good luck with that, Dee.” They laughed again as they walked away.

  “Sorry,” Priyanka said.

  She was startled when, instead of speaking, he took her hand and wove his fingers through hers. Affection surged through her as she realized they were a team, close to each other in a way that no one could touch.

  That night, same as the others, she put on her long night gown and lay on one edge of the bed. Deepak pulled his wheelchair along the other side and looked at her. She sat up, suddenly self-conscious. She covered her chest with her arms and waited for him to speak.

  “Do you find me grotesque?” he asked.

  “No,” she answered truthfully, “Not anymore.”

  “Could I kiss you?” He looked hopeful and scared, not like a husband exercising his rights.

  She nodded and he moved to the bed, his legs shaking slightly.

  “Come closer,” he said and she slid up next to him. She touched his arm and enjoyed the feel of his skin. She grasped his upper arm and it was thick and muscular.

  Her first kiss was warm and gentle. His lips were soft against hers. He opened her lips with his tongue and seemed to drink her in. He ran a hand over her body, lifting up her nightgown and touching her legs, the outside of her thighs, her stomach, her breasts. She could almost read his delight through his touch. The surface of his fingers was like sandpaper against her skin, and yet she warmed as he touched her.

  The room seemed suddenly much too hot and her nightgown was unbearably thick. She sat up and pulled it over her head, abandoning it on the floor. Deepak took a sharp breath at her naked body. She watched as he wiggled out of his pajama bottoms, rocking his body side to side to maneuver them down his legs.

  When she lay back down, he slid a finger into her and she gasped at the new sensation.

  He pressed his thumb against the outside, while moving his finger around inside. While doing that, he was touching himself, rubbing his genitals until they became hard. “I want you to straddle me and put that in where my finger was, okay?”

  More than okay, she was surprised to find that part of her body actually craving to be filled. She had an urge to get something inside her quickly and his body was perfect. She pressed up and down against him while he held her hips. The sensation was like a million butterflies tickling the inside of her skin throughout her body. She had never felt anything so wonderful.

  She leaned forward, her nipples grazing over his chest, and nibbled on his neck. He dug his fingers into her arms and cried out in pleasure. The sound caused another surge of excitement like warm honey rushing through her.

  She shivered and grabbed handfuls of his hair as spasms shot through her lower body and she released a moan.

  Moments later Priyanka lay against him in the crook of his arm and he said, “I know you must have wondered what bad fate led you here, but I think we can be happy.”

  “Sometimes good fate is disguised as bad.”

  “Yes,” he said, sighing contentedly, “Sometimes it is.”

  The Happiness Pact

  Sophie sat on one of the chairs and Alex sat on the sofa at his parents' house. Paul pulled over another chair and sat down. The three friends often met at Alex's house after school, since he lived within walking distance and his parents were rarely home. His family's house was also bigger than the one bedroom apartment Sophie shared with her father and the modest single story home Paul's family lived in.

  “Did you get homework for English and History today?” Sophie asked.

  “Yeah,” Paul said, “I thought the teachers were supposed to work out a deal where it was one or the other.”

  Paul was an odd child. He wore turtleneck shirts everyday and carried a briefcase to his classes. He had a baby face that looked many years younger than seventeen. Sophie had just moved to town a few months before so she didn't know that he had dressed the same and wore his hair the same since he was five years old.

  “Hey,” Alex said, “No homework talk. You guys are such losers.”

  Paul laughed. “So we're the losers, what are you?”

  Alex's twin brother, Jake, walked through the front door then and saw them sitting in the living room. He paused, looked them up and down, and started to walk past.

  “You're welcome to join us,” Alex said.

  “I don't know,” Jake said, “Can't get caught hanging with the geeks.”

  “No one is going to see you,” Alex said.

  Jake was in the popular crowd at school. He didn't talk to any of them there, but at home he wasn't so bad. Sophie didn't know how it was possible that identical twin brothers could end up on opposite ends of the social spectrum at school. They were identical twins, and yet it didn't take long to tell them apart. Alex's face was softer and rounder while Jake was all angles.

  Jake laughed and walked toward them, but as he came up, he tripped and fell forward, grabbing the edge of the sofa to catch himself.

  “Jesus, Jake, we haven't even opened the bottle yet,” Alex said, holding up the brandy he had stolen from their parents' pantry.

  Jake sat down and said, “I'm just really tired, it's made me clumsy all week. Pass me that.” He reached over and took the bottle from his brother and opened it. He took a swig, made a face, and passed it to Paul.

  “Are you sure this isn't cooking alcohol?” Paul asked.

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p; “No,” Alex said.

  Sophie didn't take any, she held the bottle gingerly by the neck as she passed it across to Jake again.

  “Oh come on,” Jake said, “Don't be prissy.”

  There was something about Jake that made Sophie feel embarrassed every time he talked to her. She started to stammer something, but Alex said, “Leave her alone, she only drinks water.”

  “Seriously?” Jake said, his eyes back on her, now actually looking at her maybe for the first time.

  Sophie nodded.

  “No tea, coffee, juice...milk?”

  “No.”

  “That's weird.”

  Sophie nodded. She'd heard that before. After the bottle made it around the room a few times Alex put it down on the coffee table and leaned back.

  “So if we're not allowed to talk about homework,” Sophie said, avoiding looking at Jake, who was taking up most of the couch, his legs spread wide and his arms behind his head, “What should we talk about?”

  “Sophie,” Alex said, “I'm certain you have something more interesting in your life than homework.”

  “Not really.”

  “Not that she's willing to share with us, anyway,” Paul said.

  “Come on,” Jake said, “We've all known each other forever and we're out of good stories. You're the fresh blood, give us something good.”

  “My life isn't for your entertainment,” Sophie said, but she smiled and flushed slightly.

  The front door opened and the twin's parents came into the house. Mrs. Kenley saw them through the glass doors of the living room when she walked into the hall. “Hi, kids,” she said.

  Alex quickly swiped the bottle of alcohol under the coffee table.

  Mrs. Kennley pulled off her coat. Sophie admired the long wool coat and the swingy, sensual dress beneath. Mr. Kenley took her coat for her and hung it and his in a closet.

  “We'll be out again in just a bit, have to get changed,” she said, “You kids have a good time. Don't stay up too late.”

  Jake rolled his eyes at his brother, facing away so his mother didn't see.

  When the parents swept out the door again, Sophie sighed and murmured, “Your mother is so elegant.”

  “Yeah,Alex said without enthusiasm.

  Jake laughed.

  “What?” Sophie said.

  “It comes with a price,” Jake said.

  Alex pulled a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket and lit one. Jake reached over and snatched it out of his hands and put it out on his shoe. Alex took out another and lit it.

  “Your parents let you smoke in the house?” Sophie said.

  Alex shrugged. “As long as it isn't Jake, what do they care?”

  “Do you think your parents are happy?” Paul asked suddenly. He had fished out the bottle of Brandy again and took a little more.

  “I never thought about it,” Alex said.

  “I know mine aren't,” Paul said. “Don't know how they got this way, I mean, they were like us once. Full of ideas and plans to change the world. Now they're just our parents. Living such small lives.”

  “Our parents are still living grand lives,” Alex said, “They didn't let having kids slow them down. They didn't even want kids. Just did it because it was expected of them.” He paused, dragged on the cigarette, then added, “And they only wanted one.”

  No one said anything for a while. There was no denying that Jake got all their parents' attention.

  “Sometimes I wonder,” Sophie said quietly, “If it's my destiny to become a drunk like my dad.”

  “How did they all get like this?” Paul said.

  “Did they give up on their ideals? Give up on their dreams?” Sophie said.

  “Maybe.” Paul and Sophie continued discussing, both leaning forward towards the coffee table, ignoring Alex and Jake.

  “It's scary to go after what you really want. Takes a lot of guts.”

  “Well I don't want to end up like they are.”

  “I have an idea,” Sophie said, grinning.

  “What's that?”

  “Well,” she continued, “If our parents ended up disappointed in life because they didn't go for something they really wanted because of fear, we shouldn't let that happen to us.”

  “I'm with you.”

  “I propose a pact. We all promise to do something we're afraid of. Before we graduate in June.”

  “Yeah, yeah,” Paul agreed and Alex perked up.

  “It's got to be something really big, though. Something life changing.”

  “Right. I'm in,” Paul announced.

  “Me too,” Alex said.

  “How are you going to pull this off, Sophie?” Jake laughed. “You've got more fears than all of us combined. Which will you pick?”

  “None of your business,” she said. She wondered how Jake knew about her many phobias. Did Alex talk about her? What else did Jake know about her? What did he think?

  “I'm part of this too,” Jake said.

  “Oh yeah? You're going to join the geek gang on something?” Paul said.

  “Don't breathe a word of this at school, that's all I ask,” Jake said.

  ***

  “So the twins are turning 19? How did that happen?” Sophie asked Paul while they waited at the movie theater for Alex to buy his popcorn. Alex had asked them to come to celebrate his birthday.

  “Well,” Paul said, “Jake was held back in fourth grade because they said he didn't know how to socialize.”

  “Jake? This is the same Jake we're talking about?”

  “Yes, our Mr. Popular. He was as charming at ten as he is now, but he got involved in a fight with Derek and they held him back to punish him.”

  “That kid who thinks he's some hot shot criminal?”

  “That's the one.”

  “Okay, but what about Alex? How come they're still in the same grade?”

  “This is the interesting part. Just a year later Alex failed all of his classes. I mean, it was elementary school, so they don't call it failing, but he didn't do any of the work and he didn't pass any tests. So they held him back too. It was pretty clear to me that he did on purpose because he had to be with his brother. He's that way.”

  “Yeah, I noticed.”

  “So that's when I met them, when I was eight and they had just turned ten.”

  Sophie thought about the relationship between the two brothers while they watched the movie. She was an only child and didn't even have any cousins. She didn't know what this bond was between Alex and Jake, but it was strong. It almost seemed visible. Were all brothers like that? Were all twins like that? How had they formed this team where Jake accomplished and Alex supported?

  After the movie, Alex drove first Paul home and then Sophie. In the car, when they were alone, Sophie asked, “Why didn't Jake come?”

  “He's celebrating with his own friends,” Alex said. “They'll probably be trying to sneak into clubs with fake IDs. Hope you don't mind my celebration is quieter.”

  “Ha! Thank goodness. I can't stand crowds and noise.”

  “I don't think Jake likes them much either. He feels compelled to fit in and do what's expected of him.”

  “And you don't?”

  “I'm the support player. What I want always comes second.”

  “Why, though?”

  Alex shrugged. He didn't seem at all perturbed. “It's always been about Jake. It's okay.”

  “No, it's not,” Sophie said. “Why do you never complain, Alex?”

  “He needs me.”

  “You are too good. Seriously.”

  Alex rolled down the window and lit a cigarette. Sophie watched how he didn't even seem to notice he had done it. She thought of how when Jake was around he always, without fail, took the first one away, but Alex always lit a second.

  ***

  “Did you know Sophie doesn't believe in pencils?” Jake said as his brother walked onto the porch.

  “Yes,” Alex said. He sat down on the stairs opposite Jake.
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br />   “Isn't that weird, though?”

  Alex shrugged. He pulled a cigarette from a package in his pocket and put it in his mouth. Before he could reach into the other pocket for his lighter, Jake had leaned across the stairs and plucked the cigarette out of his mouth. Alex looked at him, sighed, and said, “Did you think I came out here to listen to you talk about Sophie?”

  “She said the graphite bothered her, having it on her hands and the sound the pencil tip makes on the paper. Too soft. She's used only pens her whole life.”

  “So she likes pens, so what?” Alex stood up and walked a little ways into the garden to light his next cigarette.

  “It's just weird.”

  “Shouldn't you be worrying about Lucy, not Sophie? You remember her, right? Your girlfriend? Your anniversary is coming up.”

  “Damn, I almost forgot.”

  Alex frowned across the lawn at his twin. “You? You never forget things. You may not give a damn about your anniversary, but you always go over the top anyway.”

  Jake shrugged. “It's too easy,” he said. “She wants all the typical things: flowers, dinner, compliments. It's boring.”

  “Not going to give up on her though, are you? Thinking of dropping Lucy in favor of Sophie?”

  “Sophie is messed up, that's what I've been telling you.”

  “I know. She is my friend.” Alex finished smoking, ground out the stub on a stone and put it back in his pocket. As he walked past Jake to go back into the house, he said, “Leave the poor girl alone.”

  ***

  The bell rang. Alex usually came in after that, since he would be smoking outside. Today he didn't. Paul sat down beside Sophie.

  “Where's Alex?” Sophie had whispered at him.

  Paul shrugged. “Jake is missing too.”

  “Really? That's weird.”

  The teacher threw open the door and strode in hunched over, looking like a frog. He began to take attendance.

  “Lucy,” Paul hissed, leaning over the aisle. A head of perfectly ringletted blonde hair turned and Lucy looked down her nose at Paul.

  Lucy was more perfectly composed than a china doll. The bones along her neck and shoulders stood out because of the way she held her body loftily with her hips slightly forward and her slender waist bent back. Her mouth had a coy crease beside it, giving her smile a tempting quality. Her hair frizzled in the most stylish way and each wave seemed to be exactly where she wanted it to be. Her eyes were absolute blue without a single speck of another color. Her well-manicured fingers spread away from each other gracefully when she grasped Jake's arm and whispered in his ear. She would put a stick of gum in her mouth and playfully blow bubbles as he tried to talk to her. She made even Sophie, who rarely noticed people? attitudes toward her, feel inferior. Jake didn't seem to enjoy her company much, his smiles were almost grimaces when she was around.